I believe that life is a gift. Recent circumstances have led me to believe that perhaps I have missed out on many gifts in my life. I sit now, 20 years of age, reflecting on the past like I seem to have done so many times before. Each grand reflection is the result of a major life change. The Bible teaches me not to live in the past, but reflection is good for learning a thing or two. Sometimes a million.
"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" -2 Corinthians 5:17. The old Caleb is gone and the new Caleb has arrived. This verse speaks directly of salvation where the old body is cast away, but it also means that I can always have a second chance. The great thing about the Christian God is that any bondage to sin can be wiped away in the blink of an eye. First though, I must confess my condition and accept the things God gives me for change including His plans for it. John 1:8, "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives." My fresh start lies in this. As a Christian, I know what is wrong. When I do wrong, have genuine remorse, and ask for help, God can then work and change me.
"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" -2 Corinthians 5:17. The old Caleb is gone and the new Caleb has arrived. This verse speaks directly of salvation where the old body is cast away, but it also means that I can always have a second chance. The great thing about the Christian God is that any bondage to sin can be wiped away in the blink of an eye. First though, I must confess my condition and accept the things God gives me for change including His plans for it. John 1:8, "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives." My fresh start lies in this. As a Christian, I know what is wrong. When I do wrong, have genuine remorse, and ask for help, God can then work and change me.
The recent life change has left me broken beyond anything I ever thought possible. I have never felt so much hurt and anger all mixed together. I have learned very good lessons also. Lessons of life and love. Appreciation is the biggest of anything I have learned lately. I have always thought that I have done a good job appreciating people and things. I realized that I really hadn't. Sometimes I feel my appreciation of another has come to late, but in retrospect I always am reminded by God that perhaps the past 19 months have led up to this point of my eyes being opened.
To remember something that one has learned, I believe that some sort of reinforcement has to be used. One cannot build a house without studs. Pain is the greatest reinforcement long term yet is the worst short term. (One could argue either pain or extreme happiness being the ultimate reinforcement, but that is not for now.) When inflicted with enough pain, one will never forget that moment and the process of healing afterward. One could use a million examples. The example that comes to my mind first is of Adam. Adam last month almost died. He will never forget that his spleen almost split in two and he will never forget how it felt. He will never forget the life lessons learned in that time and in the time of healing afterward either. When cut deeply, a scar is left to always remind us of what happened. In the same way, emotional pain and suffering can lead to the greatest mending of a person.
God uses strange ways to teach us lessons. I have recently been cut to my bones. What has happened needed to happen for so many different reasons. I can't even think of them all. The recent ending of a relationship did not hit me until a week ago. I realized that, as a person, one absolutely cannot take something so serious so lightly. So many questions have raced through my head. So many self evaluations have left me speechless wanting nothing to do with myself. I felt so bad for so many different things. I also felt so alone and so far away from the Creator.
Everything changed last Saturday, the 21st. Some sense was finally knocked into me. Its when I finally let the healing process begin. It was long over due. After feeling like a total failure in life at 20, God held me. He reminded me that everything was fine. Every day is a new day. He is all that I've felt that I can actually count on. He's all I've felt that I had left. I felt like I had absolutely nothing left except Him. Thoughts of His never leaving me rallied once again. He also reminded me that I have dreams.
I have so many forgotten dreams because I never trusted him enough to make them happen. I had to sit down with God and remember my true dreams. Dreams of wanting to sing to the masses. Dreams of leading a huge crowd in worship... over and over and over again. Dreams of playing music to a million people. Dreams of one day getting married and having children. Dreams of being a true man of God.
What are your dreams? Has anybody told you that you can't do it? I never want doubt to fill my head and stop me from doing the extraordinary. I am capable of anything because Jesus told me that he lives in me. I only need to have faith. I am growing every day into a more faith based person.
